Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

by Jonathan Segel

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about

...as in, close but no cigar. This is a collection of "greatest hits" from a catalog that has never actually had a hit. I've made a lot of records in the last 25 years, and many of them had good songs on them. Some of those songs are in this collection.
I dated this release date as my 50th birthday, just 'cuz. I didn't actually put it together until a couple months later.


1. Your New Boyfriend 03:05
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

2. Always (edit) 03:21
from "All Attractions" 2012

3. Love The Witch 02:42
from "Storytelling" 1988

4. Can't Help It 03:49
from "Honey" 2008

5. Here Come the Warm Milk 02:00
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

6. Nancy Experiences the Pulse 03:36
from "Storytelling" 1988

7. I've Seen a Goat 05:07
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

8. Sky of Mind 04:31
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

9. Keen to the Stress Queen 03:17
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

10. Singularity 05:04
from "All Attractions" 2012

11. Little Blue Fish (edit) 06:32
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

12. Hey Joy 03:17
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

13. Now I Know 03:56
from "Storytelling" 1988

14. Perfect Ears 05:55
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

15. Love's Not Lost 04:12
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

16. Scars 08:07
from "Honey" 2008

17. Your Penny Silver 05:04
from Hieronymus Firebrain "Here" 1993

18. Pushing the Norton 03:55
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

19. Turnaround 03:24
from "Storytelling" 1988

20. Mirror Colored Thing 03:31
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

21. I'm An Idiot 02:41
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

22. I Remember 04:21
from Hieronymus Firebrain "There" 1993

23. Little Earthquake 03:15
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

24. One Here and One Gone 02:25
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

25. Relax 06:18
from Hieronymus Firebrain "There" 1993

26. You Shine (edit) 03:53
from Hieronymus Firebrain "Here" 1993

27. Barnswallow 03:19
from "Summerleaf" 2006

28. Listen 05:31
from "All Attractions" 2012

29. I Heart My Doghead 08:00
from "Apricot Jam" 2012

30. Before You Could 02:34
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

31. Into The Lapping Waves 05:27
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

32. I Know You Know Me (Hey You) 12:47
from "All Attractions" 2012

credits

released September 3, 2013

tons of people, many different bands. Check the original albums!

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about

Jonathan Segel Sweden

Jonathan Segel is a composer, performer and multi-instrumentalist on guitar, violin, computer, keyboards, electric bass and singing, or whatever else needs to happen.

He has played in the band Camper Van Beethoven for the past 30+ years, as well as many other bands.
Currently he plays solo and with Øresund Space Collective
oresundspacecollective.bandcamp.com
& Sista Maj
sistamaj.bandcamp.com
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Track Name: Your New Boyfriend
the creases in your pillow leave lines upon your face
as you wake up in the morning and you try to pretend

that you're still part of the human race
you drink your morning coffee and you try to decide
whether you should drive yourself or
just go along for the ride

well i'll tell you what:
i'm not jealous anymore
i'm not jealous anymore
i'm not jealous anymore
i know you still love me

you're trying to escape it but it's always coming back
and you know i'll always be there everytime that you retrack
you'll never get away and you'll never fall apart
and you'll never find anything more than me to fill
your enormous heart
well i'll tell you what:
i'm not jealous anymore
i'm not jealous anymore
i'm not jealous anymore
i know you still love me

your new boyfriend--he is nothing to me

you're never going to miss me 'cuz i'm never going to go
and you know i'll always be there for every act in the next show
Track Name: Always (edit)
i never knew that i'd care about the air that you breathe
now i'm coercing it to try to make you believe
that i'm always here, always looking right at you
you're never gonna get rid of me

i never thought much about the water that you swim in
now i'm convincing it to tell you it's not a whim
to say that here i am and there are you right there and so it's us
i'm never letting you go

because i'll always be there
i'll always be right beside you
always be there
i'll always be

i think you're plugging your ears so your eyes can see more
why don't you open those ears to hear what i'm sorry for
it's not like anyone else could listen to hear the the things
the smallest word that i say to you

you're feeling the ground all around your feet
it's telling you now about the kinetic heat
that flows between us, around us, among us, and through it
i'm never letting you go

because i'll always be there
i'll always be right beside you
always be there
always be right behind you

so now i'm wandering through this world of forms
to find a blanket , keep you safe and warm
i'm asking every shape, every line, every point
til i find the right thing for you

because always is now and will be always to come
for every moment under the sun
the water the air and the earth and the sounds
are always telling you so
Track Name: Can't Help It
'll bend the physical laws of time and space
to get back to you
layers of light fall away from your face
when i'm with you

i see the world shine within your eyes
but i guess that comes as no surprise
i can't help it

i'll cross through the borders of the wind
to get back to you
i hardly know where you end or where i begin
to get back to you

every new flavour finds its place
you are the special fifth taste
you can't help it

i'll break the physical laws of space and time
to get back to you
new universes form in the corners of my mind
when i'm with you

you know the secret, but i do too
it makes us do the dance we do
we can't help it
Track Name: I've Seen a Goat
you were so fucked to me i couldn’t wait to let you leave
even though i love you forever, you’ll get no reprieve
twice around the block by now, nothing to show but my feet are sore
anything you say to me i swear ny now i’ve heard it all before

i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me
i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me

if i would see you now it’d probably only make me sad
but if you’re doing well, it’d probably just make me mad
if i got off that train, you’d probably lookthe other way
this is one situation where we both lose either way

but i’ve seen your eyes, what i had been to youis gone
and i’d seen your soul, what you had meant to me is gone


grandpa can’t be bothered to see your latest distraction
what keeps you occupied, diversion is the great attraction
why should i leave the farm to be annoyed by the crowds
with all those people talking, venting their stupid thoughts aloud

i’ve seen a goat, the fair don’t mean that much to me
i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me
i’ve seen a goat, your life don’t mean that much to me
i’ve seen a goat
Track Name: Sky of Mind
when the sky of mind gets too big
i can turn myself inside out
oh world of mine and you stare
at the same moon far away

my the world of mine gets too big
i burn cleanly into light
from this sky of yours and i stare
at the same moon by and by

you see my sign
you hear the sirens' screaming
you saved my mind
time is (too) long
let me,let me,let me know
the reason that one's life would be
what it is at all
anyway

when the time goes on and by your eye
you measure living, time living,
stars go by and you see them go by

my the sky today is so big
i ride clearly on the wind
through this sky of mine and you stare
at the same moon overhead

you see my sign your sign says
you hear the birds singing
life to green
time goes on
spin, spark
let me,let me,let me know
the reason life would be
what it is at all
anyway
Track Name: Keen to the Stress Queen
Keen To The Stress Queen

i'm keen to the stress queen,she
builds me up and leaves me half clean
quite the scene with the stress queen
makes her way so very pristine
take us, she make us, we run 'round to fake us, we
towering over her, glowering under her
never know when she will tear us asunder, her
wish our command so we think we withstand her
get all you going for before the closing door
life's speed is fast, today is not your last
keeping uneven keel, ignoring what you feel
get all you going for, she is your narrator
we keen to the stress queen
in hopes she sees our dying careen
quite the scene with the stress queen
nervous sweat stinks but it's unseen
make me so nervous to be in her presence, she
holding the winning hand, plays in the shiny band
never know when she will knock us down where we stand
fight is inviting, i think she's inciting to
make us uncomfortable falling into the void
but that you feel this way, you'd think i'm paranoid
follow her sweaty grace, speed fuels the race
to every closing door, promises even score
i keen to the stress queen
it's her teeth i'm resting between
quite the scene with the stress queen
every new day's like it's never been

i've been with the stress queen
she paved my heart to something obscene
quite the scene with the stress queen
we're all so normal when we're glacine
dipping my pigtail into the inkwell, she
towering over us, showering down to us
while our eyes upturned tunnelling under us
make me so nervous to be in her presence, she
causing me heart attack teaching me what i lack
then she run out on me like she never coming back
finding the closing part burns my stupid heart
note in the path she led, "worry" was all it said
i'm keen to the stress queen
where she is is where i've been
quite the scene with the stress queen
makes her way so very pristine
Track Name: Singularity
you live in a room with the curtains drawn

you live in a room with the curtains drawn
you only know about what's outside
by the shadows cast upon the window pane

you live in a room with the curtains drawn

you place yourself into your machine
to see what you see as if it were real
and touch the things you only just made up
and learn the rules that tell of all existence
–all within a very limited scope

you live in a room with the curtains drawn
---
you live in a room with the curtains drawn

you live in a room with the curtains drawn
you only know about what's outside
by the shadows cast upon the window pane
Track Name: Little Blue Fish (edit)
when you wake up in the morning
maybe you'll forget that the good times are gone

the sun is shining in the sky
but it doesn't matter now that the good times are gone
they're gone now,

when you think of me you'll smile until you remember that the good times are gone
every day is a little colder, every bird will sing to you that the good times are gone
they'e gone now

little blue fish, little blue fish
it' a big big sea
little blue fish
i know you don' need me
i wish i didn't need you
i need you now
i wish i didn't need you
need you now

when you think of me you'll cry
and you'll remember that the good times are gone
you take another step, grinding your heel into the past
Track Name: Hey Joy
hey joy
i know you’re just around the corner

and i never have to go across that line again
just to get to the other side
and i know i never have to set out on the wrong track
has it been the right track all along?
and i never have to drown in my afflictions
just to find the right words to say
but i probably will

hey joy
i bet you’re right around the corner

and when you’re walking down the streets in some big city
nobody sees just who you are
and when you step out on to that runway
maybe this time you’ll just take off
you have the strength you have the will you have the heart
to keep you going
you don’t have to fuck around
but you probably will

hey joy
i see you right around the corner

and i know that nobody will ever really see me
but now i really just don’t care
but i don’t have to build myself up just to let me down
and it’s such a long way down from here
i never have to step into the zeitgeist for a friday nightcap
i never even have to drunk again
but i probably will

hey joy
i know you’re just around the corner
Track Name: Perfect Ears
she’s got perfect ears
but i’m afraid to let them do their job
i’m afraid to speak
all i can do is nod

i know it’s stupid to be so shy
but, if i said the wrong things i would surely die
she’ll never know that i even exist
if i weren’t there i’d never be missed

she’s got perfect lips
but they’re always getting in my way
i hang on every movement
and i can’t hear a word they say

how could anyone pass by those lips
i see how Helen launched a thousand ships
to the death i will carry this curse
i know i’m bad, but i’ve been worse

she’s got perfect eyes
but they look right through me
i can barely look into them
god only knows what they see

no future could ever be so bright
without those stars in sight
i cower from the merest possibility
i’m certain that it would never occur to thee

out of the million posibilites
of all the things that might be
if our eyes meet for just one glance
they all collapse into one, this one, where

she’s got a perfect face and
it shines brightly like the sun
she affects the world around her
i know i’m not the only one

i know i’m mad but it’s no compensation to know
my obsession evokes disassociation
her perfection derails my train of thought
i end up deaf and dumb, tongue tied taught

out of the billion posibilites
of all the things that might be
if our eyes meet for just one glance
they all collapse into one, this one, where

she’s got perfect ears
but i’m afraid to let them do their job
i’m afraid to speak
all i can do is nod

i know it’s stupid to be so shy
but, if i said the wrong things i would surely die
she’ll never know that i even exist
if i weren’t there i’d never be missed
Track Name: Love's Not Lost
Life is so long, but we live it so quickly
time's cruel passage so unkind
we study the past to make the present
love's not lost, it's just left behind
we callously act as if it didn't matter
those we misuse, they lie scattered
our lives become a complicated game
and we act like it's all the same
love's not lost, don't tell me
love's not lost, i just can't see it
any
more time wasted and it's quickly too late
to tell you i was thinking of you
though thought and deed are miles apart
it may not mean much, but i still love you
i know it's said all's by time healed
it just takes time to see the blood congealed
this time i'm not going to cry
i wish you good luck and goodbye
love's not lost, don't tell me
love's not lost, i just can't see it
anymore, don't tell me
love's not lost, i just can't see
it anymore
Track Name: Scars
hey you outstanding what’s on your mind?
when you ventured out last time, what did you find?
did you get hurt out there under the watching sun
so now you’ll just stay in and sulk like you’re the only one

every time you try there’s a chance that you’ll get hurt
but everytime you hurt you heal
and every time you heal you scar
your scars make you who you are
who you are


hey you wallflower don’t you want to dance?
we’re all here on the floor, why not take a chance?
are you embarrassed at what you’ve become
how the world shapes you cannot be undone


just jump into the water, put it into gear
we both know that the only thing that keeps you back is fear
those marks that you’re left with prove where you’ve been
why hide them from the world - let them be seen


every time you try there’s a chance that you’ll get hurt
but everytime you hurt you heal
and every time you heal you scar
your scars make you who you are
your scars make you who you are
who you are
Track Name: Your Penny Silver
don't speak to me in riddles
tell me what you feel
though we may never cross
this sea of ethics
with an even keel
every new day dawns
and we survive despite
ourselves, we exaggerate
the quality of life,
that's just as well
given the alternatives

you'll think your penny silver
'til your penny drops
one scary dose to thrill you
tightens up your chops
i drop it
so here lies my hick jacket
no hocus pocus
this is just my body
all i am and just as well
drop my city mouse mask as well
country mouse, she sheds no crocodile tears
really, what i say she hears?














so we get what we ask for
-maybe in a vacuum
take a look outside
open up the window
of your tomb
so we still tend to trust
the people close to us
still an act of faith
still that's only dust
gets us as far as we can go with it
search for some middle ground
higher than flood level


and it will all start at this moment:
Track Name: Pushing the Norton
i had it all together, i thought i'd done it all up fight
i was going to make an entrance and make you forget our last night
i even learned the dances, i knew exactly where you'd be
but now i'm stuck here by myself, thank god there's no-one here to see


i had such big plans
i had such big plans for us
i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton
i'm pushing the norton home
i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home

you were acting so indifferent, i thought that i could change your mind
when i came over and pulled up and offered to take you for a ride
i was going to take you away from the ace cafe
you're dancing there with other guys now, i guess that's where you're gonna stay

i had such big plans
i had such big plans for us
i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton
i'm pushing the norton home
i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home

and in my daydreams, i see myself looking cool
but i'm getting so dame hot here, i feel like such a fool
all my plans for romance are dripping down with the sweat
that's running down the inside of my brand new leather set
i had such big plans
i had such big plans for us
i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton
i'm pushing the norton home
i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home
again
Track Name: Mirror Colored Thing
Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me,
Watches what I see
I’m so happy when it’s gone So sad that it always comes back to me I pretend not to see it cuz I couldn’t bear not to be it
Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see
Once I was in your blood And you were upset Once I was in your bloodstream And you were upset and happy At the same time
Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see
I’m so happy when it’s gone So sad that it always comes back to me I pretend not to see it cuz I couldn’t bear not to be it Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see Lily’s A mirror-colored thing
Track Name: I'm An Idiot
I’m an idiot, i’m a fool
i see you and i lose my cool
you’re so violent, you’re so sweet
without you i’m incomplete

i’m an idiot, i’m a fool
i hear your voice and i just drool
you’re insane but you can be sweet
pardon me i’m not so discreet

i’m an idiot, i’m a fool
i see you and i lose my cool
you’re so violent, you’re so sweet
you’re an angel trapped in a body of meat
Track Name: I Remember
we were all particles fashioned in light
we all know what we could do if we might

then our wall were our worlds, we kept out the sea
we learned to divide and it twained me from thee

i remember

we used each other, the big and the small
fell into two genders as if that were all

an ear in the backside flipped us to the right side
we favored one half for the rest of the ride

I remember

we were all good things, full force and strange
crawled out of the ocean into the rain

the feeling of sovereignty comes only with age
there’s more to the future than we can presage
Track Name: Little Earthquake
hey yon pale one, saw you coming half my life ago
your order’s only nun and so far left to go
i can’t tell you what you mean to me
i can’t tell you what you do to me
but you know that i love you when it’s me youre making love to
hey little earthquake i thought i saw the ground shake
hey little earthquake i thought i saw the wall tumble down
hey you looking through the blue
a faint call to my ear
tell me what is true
i’ll tell you what i hear

your craziness importune
offers telling fortunes of
the incense i smell
what business is it of mine?
what had those other madmen foretold?
what clouds often come?
what forms awake?

i beg you long of leg
i try my whole life long
find me to tell me why
take me where i belong
Track Name: One Here and One Gone
take a moment, have a cup of coffee
write me a letter, tell me who you might be now

when it's cold and raining in the arctic circle
we'll find a way around it, we can swim like turtles

find yourself a cafe sit yourself down in it
gather up your thoughts dear, give me minute of your time

send me a message so i'll get the picture
we're still staring at the same moon int he sky by and by


so write me a letter, show me what you're doing
tell me 'bout the weather, tell me how it's going now

show me what you're seeing, id the food there cheaper
is the beer there better than we had last year?
Track Name: You Shine (edit)
i say your eyes do sparkle like the stars
i say never hide how bright you are
i see your hair it does flow like a waterfall
i'm nearly seeing violet, and that's not all
by my soul let me see you shine
like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun
i hear your words so closely, it's all i know
your lips speak in a language, through me it goes
the bees and birds of springtime are buzzing near
i feel my heartbeat so strong, nothing to fear
by my soul let me see you shine
like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun
i see you shine around me like light and air
it takes so little effort to still be there
i see your eyes do sparkle like the sun
i touch your hip with my hand, i nearly come
by my soul let me see you shine
like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun
Track Name: Listen
love is an impetus, it brings you to a place that's dear
that you don't know
Love grows every day, still it's enough to sway the fear
of the unknown

people tell you what to think, what's on your mind
they're convinced that they know best, really i guess, they're just being kind
nothing betrays an empty stance more than a strong word
makes it hard to hear the little voices in your heart that must be heard

people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway.
i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind

beat the ephemeral with its own fist
'til it points to something you might have missed
try to take the long view now
step outside and travel through somehow

every waking minute is a minute that you've never had before,
it's like a little piece of chocolate with a cherry at the core
Love is an active force, you're swimming in stream that changes course
it's never what you think, no-one can tell you any more

people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway.
i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind blow the clouds around
people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway.
i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind blow the clouds away

you don't know your heart, it's right inside of
you can't see your life, it's right behind
you don't know your way, it's right in front of
you can't see your fear, it's right beside
you could feel your love, it's all around
you

maybe I've got nothing to say, I'm gonna say it anyway
Track Name: Before You Could
I broke my heart before you could
So don’t bother coming inside
I smashed it to pieces and left myself helpless
Like you would’ve if you had the time

I made myself have a nightmare
So I could find reason to run
In it my demons all laughed at me naked
Why do I play the object of fun?

I tried to cut off my own fingers
While learning to tie my own shoes
Full of frustration and full of self-doubt
You know if you don’t try you can’t lose

So I had to run from your kisses
‘cuz they felt too good to be true
I just couldn’t conceive of a time
When you loved me the way I loved you
I love you
Track Name: Into The Lapping Waves
now that the summer turns to auburn leaves
we roll our bicycles down the hill
we never wondered about what came next
we never thought of our own free will

we’d sneak away to behind a row of trees
smoke one stolen cigarette
we never got the sign that we knew what we were doing,
that brown spot on the filtertip

you run away and the memories slip away
you run away and the memories they slip away
like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves
like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves
into the lapping waves

with the first freeze of winter
the school had left the sprinklers on\
the grass became a field of icy spikes
we looked across it toward the dawn

the tule fog it curled around our hips
we looked away across the fields
at all the landscapes we imagined to be out there
and all the secrets they’d reveal


you run away and the memories slip away
you run away and the memories they slip away
like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves
like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves
into the lapping waves

now that the leaves have all fallen to the ground
smell of december in the air
i’ll bring you pomegranates from the tree in my front yard
we’ll break them apart to share
Track Name: I Know You Know Me (Hey You)
standing in the foyer of the new york public library
on 5th avenue and 42nd street
i need to look up a word, to find out what to say to you
for when we finally meet
but every word in every dictionary
changes its meaning every day
frustrated, searching for that word i never find on the page
i'll never know just what to say
so i say
hey you look over here
hey you i know you know me dear/known me for years

looking through the vaults of the steinhart aquarium
i'm trying to find a missing link
between the world you live in and my dictionary,
and the wine that we drink
but every animal eludes close scrutiny
and seems to fade into the air
i never find out how to traverse worlds easily
so i'll pretend that i don't care
and i'll say
hey you

i'm digging through the sands of deserts that once were lush
with trees of green and skies of blue
searching for artifacts of ancient cities of lore
for the map that leads back to you
but every grain of sand that passes through my hand
contains memories of the past
i have to count each one to figure out what we have done
and how we found our love at last
each one says
hey you

i see you in the darkness of the forest in the evening
in the shadows where you run
in crowds along the platforms of every subway station
in every thread that comes undone
i'm using all of my mental powers
just to make you turn your head
then all the spells and all the talismans i'm looking for
will be redundant and it will be unsaid
so i say