Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

by Jonathan Segel

/
1.
the creases in your pillow leave lines upon your face as you wake up in the morning and you try to pretend that you're still part of the human race you drink your morning coffee and you try to decide whether you should drive yourself or just go along for the ride well i'll tell you what: i'm not jealous anymore i'm not jealous anymore i'm not jealous anymore i know you still love me you're trying to escape it but it's always coming back and you know i'll always be there everytime that you retrack you'll never get away and you'll never fall apart and you'll never find anything more than me to fill your enormous heart well i'll tell you what: i'm not jealous anymore i'm not jealous anymore i'm not jealous anymore i know you still love me your new boyfriend--he is nothing to me you're never going to miss me 'cuz i'm never going to go and you know i'll always be there for every act in the next show
2.
i never knew that i'd care about the air that you breathe now i'm coercing it to try to make you believe that i'm always here, always looking right at you you're never gonna get rid of me i never thought much about the water that you swim in now i'm convincing it to tell you it's not a whim to say that here i am and there are you right there and so it's us i'm never letting you go because i'll always be there i'll always be right beside you always be there i'll always be i think you're plugging your ears so your eyes can see more why don't you open those ears to hear what i'm sorry for it's not like anyone else could listen to hear the the things the smallest word that i say to you you're feeling the ground all around your feet it's telling you now about the kinetic heat that flows between us, around us, among us, and through it i'm never letting you go because i'll always be there i'll always be right beside you always be there always be right behind you so now i'm wandering through this world of forms to find a blanket , keep you safe and warm i'm asking every shape, every line, every point til i find the right thing for you because always is now and will be always to come for every moment under the sun the water the air and the earth and the sounds are always telling you so
3.
4.
'll bend the physical laws of time and space to get back to you layers of light fall away from your face when i'm with you i see the world shine within your eyes but i guess that comes as no surprise i can't help it i'll cross through the borders of the wind to get back to you i hardly know where you end or where i begin to get back to you every new flavour finds its place you are the special fifth taste you can't help it i'll break the physical laws of space and time to get back to you new universes form in the corners of my mind when i'm with you you know the secret, but i do too it makes us do the dance we do we can't help it
5.
6.
7.
you were so fucked to me i couldn’t wait to let you leave even though i love you forever, you’ll get no reprieve twice around the block by now, nothing to show but my feet are sore anything you say to me i swear ny now i’ve heard it all before i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me if i would see you now it’d probably only make me sad but if you’re doing well, it’d probably just make me mad if i got off that train, you’d probably lookthe other way this is one situation where we both lose either way but i’ve seen your eyes, what i had been to youis gone and i’d seen your soul, what you had meant to me is gone grandpa can’t be bothered to see your latest distraction what keeps you occupied, diversion is the great attraction why should i leave the farm to be annoyed by the crowds with all those people talking, venting their stupid thoughts aloud i’ve seen a goat, the fair don’t mean that much to me i’ve seen a goat, your words don’t mean that much to me i’ve seen a goat, your life don’t mean that much to me i’ve seen a goat
8.
Sky of Mind 04:31
when the sky of mind gets too big i can turn myself inside out oh world of mine and you stare at the same moon far away my the world of mine gets too big i burn cleanly into light from this sky of yours and i stare at the same moon by and by you see my sign you hear the sirens' screaming you saved my mind time is (too) long let me,let me,let me know the reason that one's life would be what it is at all anyway when the time goes on and by your eye you measure living, time living, stars go by and you see them go by my the sky today is so big i ride clearly on the wind through this sky of mine and you stare at the same moon overhead you see my sign your sign says you hear the birds singing life to green time goes on spin, spark let me,let me,let me know the reason life would be what it is at all anyway
9.
Keen To The Stress Queen i'm keen to the stress queen,she builds me up and leaves me half clean quite the scene with the stress queen makes her way so very pristine take us, she make us, we run 'round to fake us, we towering over her, glowering under her never know when she will tear us asunder, her wish our command so we think we withstand her get all you going for before the closing door life's speed is fast, today is not your last keeping uneven keel, ignoring what you feel get all you going for, she is your narrator we keen to the stress queen in hopes she sees our dying careen quite the scene with the stress queen nervous sweat stinks but it's unseen make me so nervous to be in her presence, she holding the winning hand, plays in the shiny band never know when she will knock us down where we stand fight is inviting, i think she's inciting to make us uncomfortable falling into the void but that you feel this way, you'd think i'm paranoid follow her sweaty grace, speed fuels the race to every closing door, promises even score i keen to the stress queen it's her teeth i'm resting between quite the scene with the stress queen every new day's like it's never been i've been with the stress queen she paved my heart to something obscene quite the scene with the stress queen we're all so normal when we're glacine dipping my pigtail into the inkwell, she towering over us, showering down to us while our eyes upturned tunnelling under us make me so nervous to be in her presence, she causing me heart attack teaching me what i lack then she run out on me like she never coming back finding the closing part burns my stupid heart note in the path she led, "worry" was all it said i'm keen to the stress queen where she is is where i've been quite the scene with the stress queen makes her way so very pristine
10.
Singularity 05:04
you live in a room with the curtains drawn you live in a room with the curtains drawn you only know about what's outside by the shadows cast upon the window pane you live in a room with the curtains drawn you place yourself into your machine to see what you see as if it were real and touch the things you only just made up and learn the rules that tell of all existence –all within a very limited scope you live in a room with the curtains drawn --- you live in a room with the curtains drawn you live in a room with the curtains drawn you only know about what's outside by the shadows cast upon the window pane
11.
when you wake up in the morning maybe you'll forget that the good times are gone the sun is shining in the sky but it doesn't matter now that the good times are gone they're gone now, when you think of me you'll smile until you remember that the good times are gone every day is a little colder, every bird will sing to you that the good times are gone they'e gone now little blue fish, little blue fish it' a big big sea little blue fish i know you don' need me i wish i didn't need you i need you now i wish i didn't need you need you now when you think of me you'll cry and you'll remember that the good times are gone you take another step, grinding your heel into the past
12.
Hey Joy 03:17
hey joy i know you’re just around the corner and i never have to go across that line again just to get to the other side and i know i never have to set out on the wrong track has it been the right track all along? and i never have to drown in my afflictions just to find the right words to say but i probably will hey joy i bet you’re right around the corner and when you’re walking down the streets in some big city nobody sees just who you are and when you step out on to that runway maybe this time you’ll just take off you have the strength you have the will you have the heart to keep you going you don’t have to fuck around but you probably will hey joy i see you right around the corner and i know that nobody will ever really see me but now i really just don’t care but i don’t have to build myself up just to let me down and it’s such a long way down from here i never have to step into the zeitgeist for a friday nightcap i never even have to drunk again but i probably will hey joy i know you’re just around the corner
13.
Now I Know 03:56
14.
Perfect Ears 05:55
she’s got perfect ears but i’m afraid to let them do their job i’m afraid to speak all i can do is nod i know it’s stupid to be so shy but, if i said the wrong things i would surely die she’ll never know that i even exist if i weren’t there i’d never be missed she’s got perfect lips but they’re always getting in my way i hang on every movement and i can’t hear a word they say how could anyone pass by those lips i see how Helen launched a thousand ships to the death i will carry this curse i know i’m bad, but i’ve been worse she’s got perfect eyes but they look right through me i can barely look into them god only knows what they see no future could ever be so bright without those stars in sight i cower from the merest possibility i’m certain that it would never occur to thee out of the million posibilites of all the things that might be if our eyes meet for just one glance they all collapse into one, this one, where she’s got a perfect face and it shines brightly like the sun she affects the world around her i know i’m not the only one i know i’m mad but it’s no compensation to know my obsession evokes disassociation her perfection derails my train of thought i end up deaf and dumb, tongue tied taught out of the billion posibilites of all the things that might be if our eyes meet for just one glance they all collapse into one, this one, where she’s got perfect ears but i’m afraid to let them do their job i’m afraid to speak all i can do is nod i know it’s stupid to be so shy but, if i said the wrong things i would surely die she’ll never know that i even exist if i weren’t there i’d never be missed
15.
Life is so long, but we live it so quickly time's cruel passage so unkind we study the past to make the present love's not lost, it's just left behind we callously act as if it didn't matter those we misuse, they lie scattered our lives become a complicated game and we act like it's all the same love's not lost, don't tell me love's not lost, i just can't see it any more time wasted and it's quickly too late to tell you i was thinking of you though thought and deed are miles apart it may not mean much, but i still love you i know it's said all's by time healed it just takes time to see the blood congealed this time i'm not going to cry i wish you good luck and goodbye love's not lost, don't tell me love's not lost, i just can't see it anymore, don't tell me love's not lost, i just can't see it anymore
16.
Scars 08:07
hey you outstanding what’s on your mind? when you ventured out last time, what did you find? did you get hurt out there under the watching sun so now you’ll just stay in and sulk like you’re the only one every time you try there’s a chance that you’ll get hurt but everytime you hurt you heal and every time you heal you scar your scars make you who you are who you are hey you wallflower don’t you want to dance? we’re all here on the floor, why not take a chance? are you embarrassed at what you’ve become how the world shapes you cannot be undone just jump into the water, put it into gear we both know that the only thing that keeps you back is fear those marks that you’re left with prove where you’ve been why hide them from the world - let them be seen every time you try there’s a chance that you’ll get hurt but everytime you hurt you heal and every time you heal you scar your scars make you who you are your scars make you who you are who you are
17.
don't speak to me in riddles tell me what you feel though we may never cross this sea of ethics with an even keel every new day dawns and we survive despite ourselves, we exaggerate the quality of life, that's just as well given the alternatives you'll think your penny silver 'til your penny drops one scary dose to thrill you tightens up your chops i drop it so here lies my hick jacket no hocus pocus this is just my body all i am and just as well drop my city mouse mask as well country mouse, she sheds no crocodile tears really, what i say she hears? so we get what we ask for -maybe in a vacuum take a look outside open up the window of your tomb so we still tend to trust the people close to us still an act of faith still that's only dust gets us as far as we can go with it search for some middle ground higher than flood level and it will all start at this moment:
18.
i had it all together, i thought i'd done it all up fight i was going to make an entrance and make you forget our last night i even learned the dances, i knew exactly where you'd be but now i'm stuck here by myself, thank god there's no-one here to see i had such big plans i had such big plans for us i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton i'm pushing the norton home i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home you were acting so indifferent, i thought that i could change your mind when i came over and pulled up and offered to take you for a ride i was going to take you away from the ace cafe you're dancing there with other guys now, i guess that's where you're gonna stay i had such big plans i had such big plans for us i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton i'm pushing the norton home i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home and in my daydreams, i see myself looking cool but i'm getting so dame hot here, i feel like such a fool all my plans for romance are dripping down with the sweat that's running down the inside of my brand new leather set i had such big plans i had such big plans for us i had such big plans but now i'm pushing the norton i'm pushing the norton home i'm pushing the norton, pushing the norton home again
19.
Turnaround 03:24
20.
Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see I’m so happy when it’s gone So sad that it always comes back to me I pretend not to see it cuz I couldn’t bear not to be it Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see Once I was in your blood And you were upset Once I was in your bloodstream And you were upset and happy At the same time Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see I’m so happy when it’s gone So sad that it always comes back to me I pretend not to see it cuz I couldn’t bear not to be it Again she Faked me out A mirror-colored thing That hovers behind me, Watches what I see Lily’s A mirror-colored thing
21.
I'm An Idiot 02:41
I’m an idiot, i’m a fool i see you and i lose my cool you’re so violent, you’re so sweet without you i’m incomplete i’m an idiot, i’m a fool i hear your voice and i just drool you’re insane but you can be sweet pardon me i’m not so discreet i’m an idiot, i’m a fool i see you and i lose my cool you’re so violent, you’re so sweet you’re an angel trapped in a body of meat
22.
I Remember 04:21
we were all particles fashioned in light we all know what we could do if we might then our wall were our worlds, we kept out the sea we learned to divide and it twained me from thee i remember we used each other, the big and the small fell into two genders as if that were all an ear in the backside flipped us to the right side we favored one half for the rest of the ride I remember we were all good things, full force and strange crawled out of the ocean into the rain the feeling of sovereignty comes only with age there’s more to the future than we can presage
23.
hey yon pale one, saw you coming half my life ago your order’s only nun and so far left to go i can’t tell you what you mean to me i can’t tell you what you do to me but you know that i love you when it’s me youre making love to hey little earthquake i thought i saw the ground shake hey little earthquake i thought i saw the wall tumble down hey you looking through the blue a faint call to my ear tell me what is true i’ll tell you what i hear your craziness importune offers telling fortunes of the incense i smell what business is it of mine? what had those other madmen foretold? what clouds often come? what forms awake? i beg you long of leg i try my whole life long find me to tell me why take me where i belong
24.
take a moment, have a cup of coffee write me a letter, tell me who you might be now when it's cold and raining in the arctic circle we'll find a way around it, we can swim like turtles find yourself a cafe sit yourself down in it gather up your thoughts dear, give me minute of your time send me a message so i'll get the picture we're still staring at the same moon int he sky by and by so write me a letter, show me what you're doing tell me 'bout the weather, tell me how it's going now show me what you're seeing, id the food there cheaper is the beer there better than we had last year?
25.
Relax 06:18
26.
i say your eyes do sparkle like the stars i say never hide how bright you are i see your hair it does flow like a waterfall i'm nearly seeing violet, and that's not all by my soul let me see you shine like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun i hear your words so closely, it's all i know your lips speak in a language, through me it goes the bees and birds of springtime are buzzing near i feel my heartbeat so strong, nothing to fear by my soul let me see you shine like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun i see you shine around me like light and air it takes so little effort to still be there i see your eyes do sparkle like the sun i touch your hip with my hand, i nearly come by my soul let me see you shine like the sun, like the sun, i'll see you shine like the sun
27.
Barnswallow 03:19
28.
Listen 05:31
love is an impetus, it brings you to a place that's dear that you don't know Love grows every day, still it's enough to sway the fear of the unknown people tell you what to think, what's on your mind they're convinced that they know best, really i guess, they're just being kind nothing betrays an empty stance more than a strong word makes it hard to hear the little voices in your heart that must be heard people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway. i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind beat the ephemeral with its own fist 'til it points to something you might have missed try to take the long view now step outside and travel through somehow every waking minute is a minute that you've never had before, it's like a little piece of chocolate with a cherry at the core Love is an active force, you're swimming in stream that changes course it's never what you think, no-one can tell you any more people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway. i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind blow the clouds around people have nothing to say, they keep saying it anyway. i'd rather listen, i'd rather listen to the wind blow the clouds away you don't know your heart, it's right inside of you can't see your life, it's right behind you don't know your way, it's right in front of you can't see your fear, it's right beside you could feel your love, it's all around you maybe I've got nothing to say, I'm gonna say it anyway
29.
30.
I broke my heart before you could So don’t bother coming inside I smashed it to pieces and left myself helpless Like you would’ve if you had the time I made myself have a nightmare So I could find reason to run In it my demons all laughed at me naked Why do I play the object of fun? I tried to cut off my own fingers While learning to tie my own shoes Full of frustration and full of self-doubt You know if you don’t try you can’t lose So I had to run from your kisses ‘cuz they felt too good to be true I just couldn’t conceive of a time When you loved me the way I loved you I love you
31.
now that the summer turns to auburn leaves we roll our bicycles down the hill we never wondered about what came next we never thought of our own free will we’d sneak away to behind a row of trees smoke one stolen cigarette we never got the sign that we knew what we were doing, that brown spot on the filtertip you run away and the memories slip away you run away and the memories they slip away like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves into the lapping waves with the first freeze of winter the school had left the sprinklers on\ the grass became a field of icy spikes we looked across it toward the dawn the tule fog it curled around our hips we looked away across the fields at all the landscapes we imagined to be out there and all the secrets they’d reveal you run away and the memories slip away you run away and the memories they slip away like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves like a stream sliding in, into the lapping waves into the lapping waves now that the leaves have all fallen to the ground smell of december in the air i’ll bring you pomegranates from the tree in my front yard we’ll break them apart to share
32.
standing in the foyer of the new york public library on 5th avenue and 42nd street i need to look up a word, to find out what to say to you for when we finally meet but every word in every dictionary changes its meaning every day frustrated, searching for that word i never find on the page i'll never know just what to say so i say hey you look over here hey you i know you know me dear/known me for years looking through the vaults of the steinhart aquarium i'm trying to find a missing link between the world you live in and my dictionary, and the wine that we drink but every animal eludes close scrutiny and seems to fade into the air i never find out how to traverse worlds easily so i'll pretend that i don't care and i'll say hey you i'm digging through the sands of deserts that once were lush with trees of green and skies of blue searching for artifacts of ancient cities of lore for the map that leads back to you but every grain of sand that passes through my hand contains memories of the past i have to count each one to figure out what we have done and how we found our love at last each one says hey you i see you in the darkness of the forest in the evening in the shadows where you run in crowds along the platforms of every subway station in every thread that comes undone i'm using all of my mental powers just to make you turn your head then all the spells and all the talismans i'm looking for will be redundant and it will be unsaid so i say

about

...as in, close but no cigar. This is a collection of "greatest hits" from a catalog that has never actually had a hit. I've made a lot of records in the last 25 years, and many of them had good songs on them. Some of those songs are in this collection.
I dated this release date as my 50th birthday, just 'cuz. I didn't actually put it together until a couple months later.


1. Your New Boyfriend 03:05
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

2. Always (edit) 03:21
from "All Attractions" 2012

3. Love The Witch 02:42
from "Storytelling" 1988

4. Can't Help It 03:49
from "Honey" 2008

5. Here Come the Warm Milk 02:00
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

6. Nancy Experiences the Pulse 03:36
from "Storytelling" 1988

7. I've Seen a Goat 05:07
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

8. Sky of Mind 04:31
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

9. Keen to the Stress Queen 03:17
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

10. Singularity 05:04
from "All Attractions" 2012

11. Little Blue Fish (edit) 06:32
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

12. Hey Joy 03:17
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

13. Now I Know 03:56
from "Storytelling" 1988

14. Perfect Ears 05:55
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

15. Love's Not Lost 04:12
from Hieronymus Firebrain (self titled) 1991

16. Scars 08:07
from "Honey" 2008

17. Your Penny Silver 05:04
from Hieronymus Firebrain "Here" 1993

18. Pushing the Norton 03:55
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

19. Turnaround 03:24
from "Storytelling" 1988

20. Mirror Colored Thing 03:31
from "Edgy Not Antsy" 2003

21. I'm An Idiot 02:41
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

22. I Remember 04:21
from Hieronymus Firebrain "There" 1993

23. Little Earthquake 03:15
from Jack & Jill "Chill and Shrill" 1995

24. One Here and One Gone 02:25
from "Scissors and Paper" 2000

25. Relax 06:18
from Hieronymus Firebrain "There" 1993

26. You Shine (edit) 03:53
from Hieronymus Firebrain "Here" 1993

27. Barnswallow 03:19
from "Summerleaf" 2006

28. Listen 05:31
from "All Attractions" 2012

29. I Heart My Doghead 08:00
from "Apricot Jam" 2012

30. Before You Could 02:34
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

31. Into The Lapping Waves 05:27
from Jack & Jill "Fancy Birdhouse" 1997

32. I Know You Know Me (Hey You) 12:47
from "All Attractions" 2012

credits

released September 3, 2013

tons of people, many different bands. Check the original albums!

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Jonathan Segel Sweden

Note: 2017's "Superfluity" will be here soon!

Jonathan Segel is a musician and composer, playing guitar, violin, computer, keyboards, electric bass and singing, etc.

He plays solo and with Camper Van Beethoven and Øresund Space Collective
oresundspacecollective.bandcamp.com
and Sista Maj
sistamaj.bandcamp.com
... more

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